Online Friendships
Of course, online friendships are a big part of teen life, and this concerns many parents, who tend to prefer a physical person they can meet and talk to. Through social networking sites such as Facebook and MySpace and in media such as text messaging, IMs, and chatrooms, teens can gather with the friends they just saw at school or meet new friends in cyberspace with a sense of anonymity that is missing in intimidating high school hallways. Experts feel that self-presentation is an important part of growing up, and the online space is all about getting feedback on yourself. Teens can try on different identities, blog about real and fantasy issues, and create a daring profile that may attract attention, even to a kid who’s just a plain old geek in real life.
Friendships Can Help or Hurt
Healthy teen friendships, online or off, can help develop positive social skills. But the strength of these bonds can work the other way, too. Research shows that troubling behaviors such as promiscuous sexual activity, drinking, eating disorders, and even cutting or suicide can be contagious.
One study showed that teens who attend schools where there are more smokers are more likely to pick up the habit themselves. “When I’m putting together a group, I’m not going to put a non-smoker in with nine smokers,” says Secor, “or I’m going to end up with ten smokers.”
Diane G. has witnessed “pack mentality” in her three teenage sons. “The old saying ‘there's strength in numbers’ can work negatively with boys who are bored,” says Diane. To solve the problem, Diane stocks their house with guy-gear like fishing rods and sports gear to help keep the boys and their buddies engaged in positive activities.
But pro-social and pro-academic behaviors are catching, too, says Secor. Liz R.’s 13-year-old daughter Lexi, who plays hockey, “doesn’t want to spend as much time with athletes who don’t work as hard as she does,” says Liz. Research shows that teens like Lexi who participate in faith groups and extracurricular activities tend to engage in fewer risky behaviors.