Sometimes you have to take the risk in friendship for the good of the child. You could begin your talk with S by telling her that she is your friend and that friends sometimes have to tell each other things they might not want to hear, that you love her dearly and only want the best for her and her family, then proceed to give your viewpoint. Sometimes what you have to say is not always taken in the context it should be but then if it is true reciprocating friendship, S will take what you have to say into consideration. If she does not, then your other alternative is to talk with a school counselor about the situation. You may feel you are stepping into territory you have no business in but this is for the good of a child and is not about you or S.
Remember the Serenity Prayer - God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the Courage to change the things I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference.
This may be where you need Courage to make a difference in the life of a child. If S breaks off the friendship, then she was not a true friend in the first place. Friends are able to tell each other things that each of them might not want to hear and still be friends afterwards.
You know the hurt of depression; don't ignore the child.
Good luck in whatever you do1
D.
Vicki Schmidt, Elgin 01/29/08
My daughter's friend (C) is self-mutilating. I've talked with her and know she is seeing a psychiatrist, but it doesn't seem to be a good fit. Her mom is my friend (S) and tends to do the "tough love" routine. I hate to tell someone how to raise their kids, but I've been suicidal myself and gone through a period when my daughter was depressed and contemplating suicide. In other words, I've been on both sides of the track. How do I approach this with S?
Deb Moore 02/08/08
Sometimes you have to take the risk in friendship for the good of the child. You could begin your talk with S by telling her that she is your friend and that friends sometimes have to tell each other things they might not want to hear, that you love her dearly and only want the best for her and her family, then proceed to give your viewpoint. Sometimes what you have to say is not always taken in the context it should be but then if it is true reciprocating friendship, S will take what you have to say into consideration. If she does not, then your other alternative is to talk with a school counselor about the situation. You may feel you are stepping into territory you have no business in but this is for the good of a child and is not about you or S.
Remember the Serenity Prayer - God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the Courage to change the things I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference.
This may be where you need Courage to make a difference in the life of a child. If S breaks off the friendship, then she was not a true friend in the first place. Friends are able to tell each other things that each of them might not want to hear and still be friends afterwards.
You know the hurt of depression; don't ignore the child.
Good luck in whatever you do1
D.
Vicki Schmidt, Elgin 01/29/08
Vicki