I graduated and went to college several states away. I found new friends to smoke with and went to class stoned. I also kept my grades up and called home every day. I didn't like who I was becoming. Since I hadn't saved any money for school (my earnings were spent on drugs), I'd tricked my parents into signing my life savings over to me-gift money I'd saved since I was a little girl. They didn't know that within three months, I'd burned through close to $7,000.
But it wasn't until my friends started pulling away that I realized things were falling apart. I called my older brother. He wanted me to talk to my parents, but I wasn't ready. I went to the college counseling center and found out my best option was a medical leave. That meant I had to call my parents.
When I did, I was shaking and crying hysterically. I waited until they were both on the line, and after a few deep breaths, I got it out: "I have a drug problem." I told them everything-about the lies and the money I'd spent. How depressed I felt.
There was only silence on the other end of the line, until my father said,"We love you. We just want you to be healthy and happy."
Then my mother chimed in: "We just didn't understand that you needed help. We're so glad you feel you can be honest about this. If coming home is what you need, then by all means, come home."
Back home, I started seeing a therapist. It turned out quitting my prescription medications hadn't been such a good idea after all. I'd been self-medicating with weed. I also started writing about my feelings and experiences and attending Marijuana Anonymous meetings. I even led the meetings for a while.
These days, I attend community college and I don't smoke weed anymore. I do drink socially, about once a week, even though my therapist doesn't think it's a good idea. I do seem to have an addictive personality. And my parents are concerned like any parents would be. They want to know what I'm up to, but I think they're scared too. It's always been hard for them to accept that their own child might have problems. Everyone's human. But I probably wouldn't be where I am today if they weren't supporting me.
I can't say I regret anything I've been through. You learn from your mistakes. But I'm working hard so I can go away to school again. It's a scary idea, but I want to go back and conquer it. This time, I want to do it without drugs.