MERRELL, AGE 13, NY
As the first day of school draws close, many thoughts run through my mind. They are usually thoughts of dread. I wonder if I will be able to manage the new challenges that are presented. I wonder if I will be able to finish my homework on time and pass tests. I worry about my workload and whether or not I will be overwhelmed. Bad memories of late nights and tight situations from the past year loom, and my stomach ties itself in knots. I manage to calm down by remembering that in spite of all the worry, I earned high marks in all my subjects. Focus on the positive.
But academics aren't my only worry. Will all of my friends still like me? Will I be popular this year? Do I have the right clothes, shoes, backpack, hair? All I can think about is whether or not I will be accepted. What if everyone has changed over the summer? What if I have changed in a different way? I wait nervously for the only answer to these questions - the first day of school.
Amidst all of these immediate fears lie my fears about the future in general. Even if I make it through next year, there will be another to follow and another. I wonder what it is that I am reaching for. But these are questions that I know will not soon be answered and so slowly I let go of them - leave them for another time.
There are good things about being back at school too. Summer seems lonely in comparison to the crowded days of homework, friends, and classes. The loud hustle and bustle of the hallways before first period is very comforting. And I look forward to the contentment I feel when I have lots to do - I like being busy. Summer's relaxation is bliss, but boredom is always on the edge of the horizon. And I can't wait to begin sports again, the chance to get out and DO with all my friends. I feel much better about myself after a couple of hours on the playing field. The days are shorter and fuller and somehow there is comfort in that too. Once I am in the thick of school's business, I know there will be less time to worry.
DOUG, AGE 14, OH
When I think about going back to school, I guess the thing that comes to my mind is the same thing that comes to my mind every year. I think, "I'm gonna do it right this time. I'm gonna get organized." I think I'm gonna keep my stuff together so I can do the work and actually get it turned in. Maybe it starts with one of those big binders, the kind with lots of folders in them so they're harder to lose. But I think it's more of a mindset than anything else.
A couple of weeks into it, a lot of people get discouraged. I know, because I'm one of them. Everything goes downhill from there. The work the teachers give you piles up. Suddenly, there's always something better than homework to do when you get home. So you keep putting it off and putting it off. You wind up doing the work at the last minute. Translation? Crappy work.
I guess some kids have a moral objection to school in the first place. And that doesn't help either. Some of my friends think, "Why am I here? I'm smart enough." We all know that's not true. But it feels true. And part of why it feels true is they don't seem to be teaching us anything we can actually use.
Think about algebra. They keep telling us, "This is something you're gonna use when you get out of here." But I've asked every adult I know, "Do you use algebra? Ever?" And not once have they said yes. Language Arts isn't so bad because they do teach us about resumes and business letters. But they don't spend any real time on it. They toss us a handout and say, "Give me your resume by next week." But they don't teach it in a way that actually soaks in. Most kids I know don't have the patience to read and absorb things that way.
Anyway, the bottom line for me is this - if they taught us things we actually need, it might be easier to stay focused. But they don't. That's just the way it is. Hey, you asked. Welcome back to school.