Getting Involved Means Feeling at Home

Deanna Green, a counselor at Forest Hills Eastern High School in Ada, Michigan, has one top tip for new kids in school: get involved. Using the Internet, it’s easy to find out ahead of time about the community and what it offers. The sense of new-kid strangeness and loneliness can be lessened with the anticipation that whatever a teen is passionate about can be continued in his or her new environment. Then too, kids who are busy with activities are more likely to find their way into a peer group that suits them and are less likely to get into trouble.

Mike W., a Fortine, Montana teen who just enrolled in a public high school following years of home schooling, used the Web to check out sports teams at his new school. “I wanted to see how well they did, and how involved the school was in general.” Once he made some new friends he continued using technology to develop his relationships. “I use my XBox live to chat with some of the friends I've made in school.” Other kids might use MySpace and Facebook to meet friends before starting at a new school.

What if Your Teen Isn’t Mixing in?

Rebecca Turco, a School Counselor at Brighton High School in Salt Lake City, Utah, advises parents not to panic if their teen takes a little longer to feel comfortable in a new environment. She recommends that parents encourage their child to go to school dances and sports events and to try to get to know at least one new student a day for a week or so. Such a specific target should help teens feel that the goal is attainable while at the same time adds up to many new social networks.

Of course, this goal can have its downside, too. When teens are too busy with social activities, they may neglect their academic and family responsibilities. Parents simply have to lay down the law to be sure there’s a good balance of activities and work.

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Issue: May 2008