Tips to Tame the Four-Letter Monster

Build Incentives

Offer to treat your teens to an evening at their favorite restaurant or something else they'll enjoy if they go for an agreed-upon stretch of time with no swearing. This is a win-win: You have just scheduled time with your kids that you might not otherwise have spent together.

Set Standards for Your Home

Tell your kids, "This is a swearing-free environment," and establish consequences for violating the house rules, such as charging a dollar per swear word. Put your money where your mouth is, and pay the same price if you slip. Don't overreact to occasional infractions, but in-your-face violations will require more memorable consequences, such as withholding allowance or permission to use the car. Whatever consequences you choose, be firm. It's your home. You are the parent. Act like one.

Be Patient

Breaking habits is hard. Your teens will not suddenly stop swearing, but investing the time and effort to help them understand how deeply words matter will help your teens grow into adults who won't only sound more mature, they'll be more mature, educated, and respected.

Judy Gruen is a humor writer whose latest book is The Women's Daily Irony Supplement, and the proud mother of four teens. Read more of her work on www.judygruen.com .

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Issue: April 2008