Weight—A Sensitive Issue
Keep your expectations consistent among family members—especially if your teen is overweight. Amy Hendel, R-PA, IDEA, ACSM, author of Fat Families, Thin Families: How to Save Your Family from the Obesity Trap, shares, “Adopting different standards for different family members may make weight-challenged individuals feel even more isolated than they already do.”
Dr. Jess Haines, PhD, MHSc, RD, an Instructor in the Obesity Prevention Program in the Department of Ambulatory Care and Prevention at Harvard Medical School explains, “Weight and body size are extremely sensitive topics for many teens and research suggests that teens who feel pressure from their parents to be thin or who report that their parents make comments to them about their weight are at increased risk of engaging in disordered eating behaviors.”
Your home must be a place where your teen knows his or her body is accepted. Alison C., a 21-year-old from Stoneham, MA, who was overweight as a child and teenager says, “Any parent who directly tells a child they are overweight are going about this situation in a very wrong way. You just become another bully at school calling your own child fat.” Alison adds, “My parents never made it an issue. Rather than saying you need to lose weight, they signed me up for fun sports and kept me active.”
Think Healthy, Not Thin
The benefits of living a healthy lifestyle are virtually infinite. Adults should encourage teens to find motivators that don’t revolve around weight or appearance but simply promote good health. Michela V., a 16-year-old from Milton, MA, says, “My mom always tells me to get out and walk around every day even if it only is for 15 minutes because going out and accomplishing something makes you feel better about yourself.” Molly T. says, “My parents have always encouraged me to play sports, which helped me develop qualities such as passion and teamwork, while getting in shape! My mother is always there to support me and build my self-confidence.”
Actions and Attitudes
Rebecca B. suggests, “Just keep modeling good eating and a good attitude. It is much more effective to show your teen how to eat, than to tell your teen how to eat. Being a good role model also means promoting moderation and balance. Rebecca says, “Remember, if there is no ‘FUN’ food [in the house], then a teen will often find it elsewhere and overeat it, since it is so restricted at home. Just make sure that there are also plenty of healthy choices. ”
Actions are just half the battle. Your attitude about health is contagious, too. Kim Blum, MS, RD, a registered dietitian and Resources Manager at Action for Healthy Kids says, “If a parent has eating and exercise habits that seem healthy, but approaches them with a negative attitude, they may not be sending a healthy message to their child. Parents should avoid mixed messages like, ‘I guess I’ll just have a salad,’ ‘I am dreading going to the gym today,’ or ‘I really shouldn’t be eating this.’ Instead, parents should inject a positive attitude in their comments about food and exercise like, ‘These tomatoes are so fresh and delicious,’ ‘ Can’t wait to take the dog out and get some fresh air,’ or ‘This ice cream tastes so wonderful—what a great treat.’”