Q: I have a pre-teen boy, who is simply unmotivated about his grades. To make matters worse, I am a high school teacher who is very pushy about his grades. I do not require A's, but C's and D's are unacceptable, and he just doesn't seem to care. It is not that he does not understand the work, we are available to help him at any time, he just doesn't want to put the effort in. For example, for his last book report, he looked for the thinnest book he could find to do the report on, so of course it was the most boring book he could find. I told him to look for something he thinks is the coolest thing ever, then the book is fun to read. Nothing. How do I motivate my kids to put the effort into learning and achieving?
John Blaber answers: Lack of motivation is a common problem in getting teens to learn. Recognizing this, many school improvement initiatives recently, including some supported by the Gates Foundation, have turned to school-improvement models that emphasize individualized learning, cultural and real-world relevance, and rigorous academics. These are also sometimes called the three Rs, for Rigor, Relevance, and Relationships. These three elements are closely connected; if one is missing from a teacher's teaching practice, he or she may find that students respond with behaviors that signal a lack of intrinsic motivation to learn or achieve. Rigor means exposing students to challenging work with academic and social support. Relevance means ensuring the curriculum is culturally relevant to students and is related to their life experiences and life goals. Relationships mean building caring, supportive connections with students, parents, and communities.
It is not enough simply to assign difficult work. Some students will respond to this because they are self-motivated or respond well to parental pressures or incentives. But many students need to be persuaded that the content of the classroom is directly relevant to their lives and goals in order to care enough to do the work needed to acquire skills and master content knowledge. Also, students respond when they know their teachers care about their success, not just their parents. Ask yourself whether or not your child's teachers practice the three Rs of Rigor, Relevance, and Relationships, and not just Rigor. If not, it may be that your child would be more successful in a school that is making a deliberate attempt to support and encourage teachers to improve their practice by doing more than just piling on the work and expecting students to perform.
Q: My daughter will turn 16 in February and is struggling in the 10th grade. We recently moved from WA to NV and she has not taken the move well and has missed a lot of school. In that regard, she had some real medical issues causing her to miss school but she also made up some medical issues. Feeling somewhat guilty because she does not like her new home, I feel that I'm partly to blame for not emphasizing the importance of school attendance although I have tried! We are in counseling to come to terms with the move, but my question is should she change schools so that she has a better chance of understanding her classes? She complains that the teachers aren't that helpful.
Donna Secor answers: Changing schools is difficult for adolescents, both academically and socially. School attendance issues related to medical problems also present a difficult challenge for parents and teens. Families do move, however, and all parents make mistakes. Time spent feeling guilty only takes away time and energy that can be used to develop solutions. Your involvement in counseling is an important step in the right direction.
Yet another school change at this point could make your daughter’s situation worse. Students tend to display similar patterns of academic performance from one school to the next. A better approach would be to arrange for a meeting with your daughter’s counselor or school social worker and, if possible, her teachers, to clarify the various challenges she has faced and develop an action plan. High school teachers are not always very familiar with each student’s situation and may not be aware of the impact of your move and her medical issues. When a student is frequently absent, teachers may erroneously conclude that the student just doesn’t care. When teachers do understand, they are most often very willing to help.