In the best of circumstances, it's tough being a teenager. But for teens whose parents are divorcing, the transition can be even tougher. At a time when the young person's job is to separate from family, it's the family that's changing.
"[The time before and after the divorce] becomes almost impossible for teens because nothing's there to bedrock their ongoing turmoil," says Michael Schwartzman, Ph.D., a New York-based psychoanalyst and co-author of The Anxious Parent.
Says Justine B., a Virginia mother of five, "When my husband moved out, our oldest son, Tim, 17, was very angry and blamed me for just about everything. Charlie, who's 14, went about his business and said nothing. He's the one I was worried about ... because he wouldn't let me in."
The good news is that divorcing parents can help their teens by being attuned to such signs of stress and following some practical guidelines on helping teens cope.
Barb Lorge 01/07/08
Going through a bad divorce now, and this article gave me a lot to think about. It’s easy to get into your own head, not in your kids’. They need time too.
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