The Issue: Curfews
Parents and their kids don't always see eye to eye - and that's the point behind Point/Counterpoint. When you say no, your teen says yes. How do you come to an agreement? And how do you find solutions that work for everyone? ParentingTeensOnline talks to families across the country about how they tackle some of the tough decisions in their lives.
JESSE S., AGE 18, NY
Up to the point where you can drive yourself, your curfew is when your parents are willing to pick you up, and it is usually 11:30 pm or 12 am, but once you are able to drive yourself - that's when the big changes come about.
In my senior year of high school, I had a curfew of 1:30 am on weekends, and that was fine cause you're not really doing anything after 1:30 am anyway. This summer before college, I don't really have a curfew anymore. If I'm not doing anything, I usually will be home pretty early anyway.
Sometimes parents make too big a deal about curfews. They are just against a kid being out late, no matter what. But I think if a parent knows what a kid is doing, they should let the kid stay out later. Anything past 3 am is ridiculous, but up until then, it's not that big of a deal if they are just hanging out with their friends. I think there should be different curfews depending on what you are doing. If I was going into the city, for example, I don't think it would be acceptable to come back at 3 am, but if I'm at a friend's house, then that time should be OK.
I've always talked with my parents about curfews, and we have this agreement that I always let them know where I am and give them a rough estimate of when I will get home. I know a lot of parents agree that as long as we let them know what we are doing and who we are with, they understand and are more flexible. I think my parents talk to other parents about curfews, and that's good for all of us. It means that most of my friends have the same curfew that I do, with the exception of one kid. It's really a drag when you have to be in earlier than all your friends.