TWO: With/For Friends

#17: End an Argument

With all that’s going on in your life, it’s easy to find yourself every now and again in a tiff with a friend or relative. If you’re already in a bad mood, you might mistake a friend’s trying-to-be-helpful comment (“You’ve gotta work on your field goals if you wanna make varsity,” or “Those pants make you look fat”) as a vicious put-down. Miscommunications occur all the time. And backstabbing does happen, too, as groups of friends and foes form strategic alliances. Sometimes it’s like high school is one long episode of Survivor. But real friends will weather the storm. So if you do offend your best friend or feel betrayed by a close pal’s careless or callous comments, take the high road and bury the hatchet.

How to Do It

Once you’ve calmed down from the fight or slight, think objectively about the incident: Who said or did what, and why? Question the cause of the uproar, consider the motivations and feelings of everyone involved, and don’t spare yourself when doling out blame or—just as important—forgiveness. Let’s say a close friend mysteriously shunned you at lunch. Call, text, or email to find out what’s really going on. Maybe he or she was just having a bad day. Hopefully a good heart-to-heart will clear up any misunderstanding. Were you out of line in insulting your friend’s taste in music, or did you blow off plans because a better offer came along at the last minute? Own up to your mistake and vow to maintain mutual respect in the future. It’ll feel good to clear the air and might just make you closer in the end.

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When Judge Judy Is Busy

Need some help working out the argument or mending hurt feelings? Present both sides of the story to an unbiased third party—an older friend with great communication skills, or a trusted teacher or coach with a rep for always being fair—who can judge the situation and provide some much-needed perspective.

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EIGHT: Because You Should

#86: Learn CPR

The heart is a resilient muscle built to withstand crushing breakups, fatty foods, and cheesy Valentine’s Day cards. But sometimes, when pushed to the max, it says, “Enough!” When someone’s heart quits, it can be fatal. Many times, however, you can help save a person who is undergoing cardiac arrest (the medical term for a heart attack) by performing cardiopulmonary resuscitation, also known as CPR.

How to Do It

CPR training is available free of charge at professional, volunteer, and government organizations in nearly every city, and you can also pay to take a course. Check out www.learncpr.org and www.redcross.org to find out where classes are held. In your three-hour course, you’ll learn how to quickly assess a victim’s condition and apply these life-saving procedures, which consist of mouth-to-mouth resuscitation (breathing air into the victim’s lungs) and performing chest compressions. The point of mouth-to-mouth (you’ll practice on a mannequin, so no need to worry about the garlic you ate for lunch) is to keep oxygen flowing into the blood via the lungs; the chest compressions are intended to keep the blood flowing, especially to the brain. Remember, however, that CPR is only a first step; it is used to buy some time before a medical professional arrives to restore the victim’s heartbeat, usually by using an automated external defibrillator. That means it is absolutely essential to call 911 as soon as the incident occurs. Then practice CPR while you wait for help.

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Make a Splash

CPR can also be used to save the life of a drowning victim (once they are out of the water). If you’ve mastered CPR and are also an experienced swimmer who loves hanging out at the beach or community swimming pool, consider becoming a lifeguard. The American Red Cross and local safety organizations train lifeguards. You have to be at least 15 years old and devote 30 to 40 hours to learning rescue skills. What a cool job—you get to save lives and hang out on the beach or at the pool all summer.

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Issue: May 2008